Is it my instinct or for my sake

I just don't know the reason why I took a break,

Is it my instinct or for my sake.

I thought for a second in me what others see,

Its my  feeling with words i define me.

Each word i choose with utmost care,

It flows within my inner feeling i swear.

I’m amazed  of the world that my mind explore ,

As I walk by so many close doors.

I see an open one far from my gaze,

I get this feeling why and i’m amaze.

I understand that an open door is always blind,

For people with closed mind.

I’m lost in living confusion,

With the one i live and with one i wish to live is some delusion,

peace of mind i seek  is never to be found,

if I don't listen to the  voice of my heart sound.

I m lost with my world when you speak.

I just don't know the answer for your question which makes me weak.

I wrote this so you would know your words were not in vain,

For couple of  years your answer was “I’m vacant”,my was ”hmmmm OK” again and again.